Oh, Hello, Keek!
What are you doing, jumping up on my lap?

You dare to call me Keek?
I am Keekmeister!
Protector of the home!
Have any birds entered your house
Since I took up bay window bird-watching duty?
No! Not a one.
Have any pieces of ribbon attacked you or yours
Since I took up residence here?
You can’t deny that I am faithful
in shredding that dastardly toilet paper for you.
Every day!
You dare to call me Keek?
No! I am Keekmeister
Protector of the home!

Now, since I’ve chosen to sit upon your lap,
Commence petting.
Then get up and feed me!