I keep (randomly) finding and (deliberately) sharing blog posts that have to do with modesty and how we females dress.
I also read comments on these blogs–and get similar comments in response to the posts I’ve shared on Facebook: Demanding modest clothing is blaming the female for male’s lack of self-control. Women should be able to wear whatever they want rather than take responsibility for men’s reactions to what they wear.
I get it…I do. People who know my family intimately know that I will NEVER blame a girl for
men’s boys’ behavior. (Can’t call the creepos men, regardless of their age.) It’s just not right. I don’t care what she was wearing, no girl ever deserves nor does she ever ask for lewd behavior toward her. Or worse.
Guys often act/react lewdly even toward girls dressed modestly. Girls dressing inappropriately are often treated just fine by the men around them. So…
That’s not where I am going. I am not playing the blame game here.
Why am I so stringent on modest dress for women?
Point One: It goes back to something that happened when I was a child. Dad got paid for something in cash. Don’t even remember what. Anyway, it was several hundred-dollar bills, but not a huge amount. Leaving the money, we went out to lunch, and when we returned, the money was no longer sitting on the table. Did we blame Dad? No. Did he blame himself? No. It was the thief’s fault. However, he did say, “I shouldn’t have left the money on the table in front of the window behind an unlocked door.”
I wear a helmet when riding a bike. I sent my daughter to gymnastics with safety precautions such as mats, crash pits filled with Styrofoam blocks and excellent, well-trained coaches. I wear seatbelts. I dress modestly.
Point 2: People in general judge you on how you look. No, that’s not accurate; they’re judging you on how you carry yourself, and that includes clothing. Think about it. You wouldn’t wear pajama pants to an interview and expect to be taken seriously. You wouldn’t wear a suit and tie to the beach and expect to be included in the game of beach volleyball.
If a woman wants to be taken as “easy,” she will wear clothing that shows off her body. If she wants to be taken as an intelligent woman worthy of respect, she will act and dress modestly. Fashionably. Creatively. Uniquely. But modestly.
You choose how others see you when you choose your clothes and your behavior.
Point 3: God commands it in the Bible. That’s enough for me. But it’s okay if it’s not enough for you.
And one point for the guys: Your reaction to women is YOUR responsibility. I’m sorry that in our culture we don’t do a good job teaching you that. But self-control and respect for those around you are signs of manhood that you should learn. Remember, you choose how people see you when you choose your clothing AND your behavior. We women watch how you treat other women.
*Steps down from Soap Box*